MY MESSAGE TO YOU : THE VALUE OF PRIVACY IN MORDEN LIFE

One of the most important lessons I have learned in life is not to reveal everything about myself to others. The more we disclose, the more vulnerable we become to envy, malice, and misinterpretation. Human nature can be unpredictable; people who seem to listen sympathetically may, in fact, harbour resentment or ill-will. As Goffman (1959) argued in his seminal work on self-presentation, individuals manage the information they disclose in order to protect their social identity and preserve dignity.

This does not mean that genuine friendship does not exist. There are indeed honest and good-hearted people who sincerely wish us well. However, discernment is essential. True friendships do not require constant contact; sometimes it is enough to exchange greetings once every two weeks or even once a month. Healthy friendships are not measured by frequency of communication, but by sincerity and trust.

Setting Boundaries in Communication

A useful strategy is to set boundaries when conversations become intrusive. If someone asks too many personal questions, one can redirect the discussion to neutral topics such as football, films, recipes, or health tips. This approach maintains sociability while protecting personal privacy. According to Petronio’s Communication Privacy Management Theory (2002), people draw “privacy boundaries” to regulate the flow of information. When these boundaries are crossed, trust may erode, leading to conflict.

From my own experience, individuals who are overly curious about private matters often prove to be the least trustworthy. Friendships can flourish in shared activities such as playing futsal or going to the gym without requiring deep personal disclosures. Maintaining a balance between openness and discretion is key to sustaining relationships while preserving one’s dignity.

Balancing Positive and Negative Thinking

Life is undeniably difficult without the wisdom to manage oneself. It is important to adopt both positive and negative modes of thinking depending on the situation. Positive thinking allows us to remain hopeful and resilient in the face of adversity. Negative thinking, when applied constructively, helps us to remain cautious and realistic. As Seligman (2011) highlighted in his work on positive psychology, authentic well-being requires not only optimism but also the capacity for critical judgement.

Above all, we must cultivate self-love. People who prioritise their own well-being and self-respect are more likely to succeed in the long run. Self-love is not narcissism but a recognition of personal worth. If we do not value our own privacy and dignity, others will not respect them either. Our life stories are our absolute right; they belong to us alone.

The Dangers of Oversharing in the Digital Age

Letting others speculate is often wiser than offering explanations. Time itself will reveal the answers. The price of self-respect is high, and we should not allow others to distort our stories simply because we volunteered them too freely. This is especially true in the digital age, where information is disseminated at the tap of a finger.

Unlike the past, when messages were delivered by pigeons or tin-can telephones, today’s communication is instant and global. A casual remark shared on social media can spiral into controversy, misrepresentation, or even online harassment. Boyd (2014) has shown how the permanence and visibility of digital content amplify the risks of oversharing. What seems harmless today may have unforeseen consequences tomorrow.

Conclusion

In conclusion, guarding our privacy is not an act of secrecy but of self-preservation. By managing what we share and with whom, we protect our dignity, relationships, and future. Friendships need not be built upon constant disclosures but upon mutual respect and sincerity. In a world where information travels faster than ever, discretion has become an essential virtue.

To protect our independence, mental health, and reputation, we must remember this simple principle: not every story needs to be told, and not every listener deserves to hear it.

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References

• Boyd, D. (2014). It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens. Yale University Press.

• Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Anchor Books.

• Petronio, S. (2002). Boundaries of Privacy: Dialectics of Disclosure. SUNY Press.

• Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.

MY MESSAGE TO YOU : CLOSING THE GENDER ACHIEVEMENT GAP IN MALAYSIAN EDUCATION

The Malaysian Education Development Master Plan (Pelan Induk Pembangunan Pendidikan Malaysia – PIPPM) sets an important target: closing the gender achievement gap between male and female students. As an educator, I must admit that male students are often left behind in academics compared to their female counterparts. Nevertheless, I am also aware that many male students continue to excel. When examined in terms of quality, the achievements of male and female students can be considered equal, and in certain cases, the performance of male students even surpasses that of female students.

Academic Underachievement Among Male Students

The gap, however, becomes evident when we look at national examinations such as the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). Statistics from the Ministry of Education (MOE, 2022) show that the majority of students who do not qualify for a certificate are male. Many of these failures stem from weaknesses in Bahasa Melayu and History, both compulsory pass subjects. The underlying cause is not a lack of ability but rather an issue of attitude.

Many male students display immaturity and indifference towards education. Discipline issues are common — absenteeism, incomplete coursework, and a lack of seriousness in learning. These behavioural patterns significantly affect their performance. A study by UNESCO (2020) highlights that boys in many countries underperform academically due to lower levels of engagement and motivation in formal schooling.

Lifestyle and Attitude Factors

Another key factor is lifestyle. Male students are more prone to wasting time on unproductive activities. They spend hours at coffee shops or playing video games late into the night, leaving them tired and inattentive in class. While they are not inherently weak in academics, their achievements decline due to poor time management and lack of focus. Research by Abdullah and Kamaruddin (2021) found that male students in Malaysia tend to underperform compared to female students primarily because of lifestyle distractions rather than cognitive limitations.

Peer influence is another pressing concern. Young men are easily swayed by friends who encourage unproductive habits. This peer pressure culture makes it difficult for them to prioritise education. As a result, many fail to meet academic requirements and are unable to progress to higher education.

Redefining Masculinity Through Education

In my opinion, the complete package of becoming a “real man” is not only about physical strength or appearance but about being educated, healthy, and mentally resilient. A man with a six-pack but without education still lacks something essential. Education gives men dignity, credibility, and the ability to lead.

Men will eventually assume roles as heads of families and role models for their children. Without a solid educational foundation, they may struggle to provide guidance and stability. Although it is true that some individuals succeed financially without higher education, such cases should not be seen as the norm. The future economy is uncertain; what works today may no longer apply in ten years. As the World Bank (2021) notes, knowledge, adaptability, and continuous learning are critical in an era shaped by rapid technological change.

Therefore, young men who stop at SPM should rethink their decisions. Further education, whether at universities, technical institutions, or vocational colleges, provides opportunities for growth and resilience in an unpredictable world.

The Way Forward

To address this issue, multi-pronged strategies are needed. Schools should strengthen mentorship programmes, where male role models guide boys towards making better life choices. Parents must play a stronger role in instilling the value of education at home. Teachers, meanwhile, must adopt innovative teaching approaches that engage boys more effectively. According to OECD (2015), boys often respond better to practical, hands-on learning activities compared to abstract lessons. Tailoring pedagogy to suit their learning styles could narrow the gap.

Conclusion

The gender achievement gap is not about intelligence but about attitude, lifestyle, and priorities. Boys must realise that education is central to their future success. As future leaders, husbands, and fathers, they cannot afford to neglect their studies. Education provides stability, respect, and a platform for lifelong success.

So, to all young men out there: understand that being a “real man” is not just about strength or status, but about knowledge and wisdom. Come on boys, let us figure this out together. The future is in your hands.

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References

• Abdullah, N. & Kamaruddin, H. (2021). Gender and Academic Achievement in Malaysia: Attitudes, Motivation and Lifestyle Factors. Journal of Educational Research, 14(2), 45–61.

• Ministry of Education Malaysia (2022). Annual Education Report. Putrajaya: MOE.

• OECD (2015). The ABC of Gender Equality in Education: Aptitude, Behaviour, Confidence. Paris: OECD Publishing.

• UNESCO (2020). Global Education Monitoring Report: Inclusion and Education – All Means All. Paris: UNESCO.

• World Bank (2021). World Development Report: Data for Better Lives. Washington, DC: World Bank.

CATATAN CIKGU ZULKARNAIN : PENJUAL TONG GAS BERJIWA MURNI

Penjual tong gas sangat dekat dengan diri kita tetapi saya yakin ramai yang memandang kerjaya ini hanya sebelah mata. Mereka berpakaian selekeh dan memikul tong gas hanya dengan beralaskan sehelai tuala yang juga digunakan untuk mengesat peluh. Secara jujur, siapakah yang pernah memarahi penghantar dan penjual tong gas ini apabila mereka lewat sampai ke rumah kita? Situasi dimarahi oleh pembeli kerana lambat menghantar tong gas ini sudah menjadi asam garam bagi mereka. Akan tetapi, pernahkah kita terfikir akan pengorbanan yang mereka lakukan terhadap kita? Walaupun mereka menjual barangan dan perkhidmatan, mereka juga manusia biasa yang wajar dihormati dan dimuliakan.

Saya terdorong untuk menulis cerita ini selepas memikirkan tentang tulusnya hati dan ikhlasnya jiwa seorang usahawan tong gas yang selalu menghantar tong gas ke rumah saya. Dia tidak pernah menolak apabila diminta menghantar tong gas ke rumah saya walaupun pada masa saya menelefon dia berada jauh dari lokasi rumah saya. Dia hanya tidak menepati masa yang dijanjikan. Namun begitu saya maklum, untuk sampai ke rumah saya dari bandar Sibu memerlukan masa 30 hingga 45 minit, itupun jika tiada masalah kesesakan lalu lintas. Pada masa yang sama orang yang meminta khidmat mereka mungkin dari rumah yang dilalui semasa perjalanan maka dia perlulah singgah dahulu.

Tanggal 28 Ogos 2022, saya hubungi "Tauke" yang selalu menghantar tong gas ke rumah saya. Tong gas rumah saya sudah habis dua minggu lepas. Saya memasak menggunakan dapur elektrik. Namun begitu, saya tergerak untuk menukar tong gas pada hari itu. Petang itu hujan turun dengan lebat. Penjual tong gas itu menelefon saya selepas saya selesai menunaikan sembahyang mahgrib. Saya buka pintu pagar rumah untuk memudahkan dia masuk dan membancuhkan kopi untuknya seperti biasa. Yang peliknya, selalunya, "Tauke Tong Gas" itu akan hantar sendiri tong gas masuk ke rumah saya. Pekerja dia akan menunggu di dalam lori. Dia selalu memanggil saya dengan panggilan "Cikgu Rumah Cantik" atau "Cikgu". Petang itu pun begitu, sebaik sahaja sampai, dia terus pikul tong gas masuk ke rumah saya. Hujan masih lebat. 

Cikgu, boleh aku masuk? Kaki aku basah? Nanti lu rumah kotor! 

Masuk tauke, tak apa. Nanti saya mop. 

Dia pun terus masuk dan meletakkan tong gas di ruang khas di luar dapur memasak. Dia dah hafal pun lokasi tong gas itu. Selepas memasang dan mengunci kepala tong gas, saya pun hulurkan bayaran dan jemput dia minum dahulu macam biasa. Dia minum dengan laju. Dia beritahu selepas ini perlu memandu ke sebuah sekolah di luar bandar yang jauhnya lebih kurang 60 kilometer. Dia kata dia mesti hantar tong gas malam itu juga. Kawasan sekolah itu tidak ada kedai makan. Kalau dia tidak hantar cikgu itu tidak makan! Saya kata cikgu itu boleh makan mi segera. Saya cadangkan dia hantar esok sebab hujan lebat. Waktu pun sudah menunjukkan pukul 8:00 malam. Dia kata dia kasihankan cikgu itu. 

Terdetik di kepala saya, "Tauke Tong Gas" ini bukan bekerja untuk duit tetapi lebih mengutamakan pelanggan daripada kesihatan dan keselamatan diri. Saya terharu. Saya nasihatkan dia memandu dengan hati-hati. Jalan gelap. Dia terus masuk ke dalam lori sambil melambaikan tangan mengucapkan terima kasih. Hubungan silaturrahim saya dengan Tauke Tong Gas itu sudah lama, jika dia hantar tong gas kami selalu berbual. Dia suka memuji rumah saya walaupun saya tahu rumah dia lagi besar dan cantik. Dia sebenarnya jutawan. Orang yang menyintai kerjaya mereka sanggup mengorbankan apa-apa sahaja kerana itulah kepuasan bagi mereka.

Kalaulah aku serajin dia!

MY MESSAGE FOR YOU : THE MEANING OF INDEPENDENCE FOR A TEACHER

For me, as a teacher, the true meaning of independence is not merely about national sovereignty or freedom from colonial rule. It is about seeing my students succeed in their studies and their lives. Every achievement they make symbolises a liberation from ignorance, poverty, and hardship. I believe education is the most powerful tool to transform lives, and my role as a teacher is to nurture, guide, and inspire. This profession is not about chasing rank or position; it is about serving humanity with sincerity.

I am not wealthy; I do not possess millions in the bank. What I do have is knowledge — a treasure that I can share with my students. According to Freire (1970), education should be seen as a process of “conscientisation”, where individuals become aware of their potential to change their circumstances. When I see my students progressing, I feel that I am contributing to this process of human liberation.

The Challenges of Teaching

Teaching, however, is far from easy. It is a career that constantly tests one’s patience and resilience. I am often saddened when confronted with students who are stubborn, undisciplined, or unmotivated. I do not place the blame entirely on them, for I know that their parents send them to school with hope in their hearts. Parents want their children to grow into human beings of noble character and knowledge. As a teacher, I see it as my responsibility to make these dreams a reality.

This is why teachers must go beyond delivering lessons. They need to be dedicated educators who are willing to sacrifice personal time to mentor and socialise with their pupils. As Hattie (2009) emphasises, teacher-student relationships are among the most influential factors affecting student achievement. For me, that means spending long hours planning, setting targets, analysing data, and marking assignments.

The Humanising Mission

Much of my time is also spent motivating, advising, and encouraging students. Education is not merely about transferring knowledge but also about transforming lives. This process of “humanising” students — shaping their attitudes, values, and outlook on life — is difficult and requires patience. I feel disappointed when students refuse to change, particularly in terms of mentality. At times, I scold them. But I scold not out of hatred; I scold because I care. Sadly, some students may perceive my sternness as a lack of affection, but that is the paradox of this noble profession.

Dedication to the Profession

I intend to remain a teacher until retirement. I love this career deeply. I see it as a responsibility entrusted to me by God, and thus I must teach with honesty and sincerity. Teachers must never allow this profession to be tarnished by misconduct or corruption. As UNESCO (2021) highlights, teachers are “cornerstones of education systems,” and their integrity is fundamental to building trust in education.

The salary I receive each month is modest, but I believe it is fair in light of the sacrifices required. Still, I constantly engage in self-reflection: Have I truly given my best service to my students? Am I fulfilling the responsibility entrusted to me? I am only human, imperfect, but always striving to improve.

Conclusion

Ultimately, my greatest hope is that God blesses every effort I make to guide my students towards success in life. True independence, to me, is when each student I teach is able to stand tall, achieve their dreams, and live with dignity. When that happens, I know my sacrifices as a teacher have not been in vain.

As the African proverb states, “If you educate a man, you educate an individual. If you educate a woman, you educate a nation.” In truth, when teachers educate children — regardless of gender, race, or background — they liberate entire communities. That, to me, is the truest meaning of independence.

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References

• Freire, P. (1970). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Continuum.

• Hattie, J. (2009). Visible Learning: A Synthesis of Over 800 Meta-Analyses Relating to Achievement. Routledge.

• UNESCO. (2021). Teachers: Leading in crisis, reimagining the future. Paris: UNESCO.

• Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia (2023). Laporan Tahunan Pendidikan. Putrajaya: KPM.